Addressing Social Inclusion at Madrona School
Excerpted and edited from the Madrona School Family Handbook
When people bring their children to Waldorf schools, many times they are drawn to the beautiful and harmonious classrooms and playgrounds. People feel safe here and comfortable to have their children spend their days in these spaces. In such beautiful surroundings, it is hard to imagine that bullying and aggression can happen.
Yet it does because our children are human beings, and like the rest of humanity, they are learning to manage differences, handle conflict and power, come to terms with violence and aggression, and test their own human capacities. Madrona School responds to these situations with consciousness and compassion.
Not all fighting, aggressiveness, teasing, name calling, etc. is bullying. In fact, much of it is not. Sometimes children are in conflict with each other, sometimes they even fight physically, but it is not bullying. The essential quality of bullying is that there is a power imbalance between the aggressor(s) and the recipient(s) of the aggression. One person can be physically larger or stronger than another. They might have a larger vocabulary, or have superior verbal skills. They could be quicker, or more popular. It could mean a group of people against an individual or smaller group. Bullying takes many shapes and forms, but it is always characterized by this imbalance of power.
Whatever form it takes, bullying is a destructive force that can cause physical, psychological and/or emotional harm to individuals and classes. It is incumbent on teachers and parents to work proactively to avoid bullying and to effectively address any incidents that arise in order to stop it.
The following principles underpin our work with children to resolve conflicts:
Repetitive unkindness, bullying, and being bullied are ways of behaving that can be changed.
Confronting wrongdoing, such as bullying, addresses a person’s actions. It should not denigrate the whole human being.
As children grow older, the harm done to themselves and others through repetitive unkind behaviors must be acknowledged.
It is essential that reparation is made for the harm done. This will vary with the ages of the children involved and the severity of the incident.
Both aggressors and receivers are valued members of the school community whose supportive ties with others should be strengthened through participation in communities of support.
Early intervention is the most successful and appropriate way to prevent bullying. When a situation comes to our attention, the response of the school is to:
Guarantee safety of the children
Investigate
Report
Remediate
Follow-up
Parents have an important role both in preventing aggression and bullying and in responding when a situation arises. When parents and teachers work together on behalf of a healthy class dynamic, the children have the best opportunity to deal confidently with situations that emerge.
It is important that parents build and maintain open pathways of communication with their children so that they feel free to tell a parent when something happens. When a child does report an incident, it is important the parent does not overreact. This can startle a child and cause them to not tell of further incidents.
Here are some helpful tips:
1. Listen to the story all the way through. Ask questions if there are parts that you don’t understand. Try not to take sides or form opinions yet. Any emotional reactions will make it more difficult for a child to report anything else in the future.
2. Assure the child you will help sort the problem out.
3. Contact the teacher involved, keeping an open mind as to what took place, and try to work through the situation in a spirit of cooperation. If the teacher is hearing about the incident for the first time from you, give them as many details as possible to help them with their investigation.
4. Above all, show the child a positive role model in demonstrating how adults can meet together and work things out in a friendly and open way. When adults come into conflict over these issues, it only adds to the child's fears.
Madrona School works with students and parents to resolve conflict so that all involved can grow through the experience. It takes a long time for children to grow into fully mature social beings. Along the way, they often make mistakes due to immaturity, impulsivity, lack of awareness of others’ feelings, or lack of appreciation for the consequences of their actions. Our role as a Waldorf school is to guide them toward appropriate, healthy social behaviors, supported by a curriculum specifically designed to meet children where they are at each step of their development.
For more information you can read the Madrona School Family Handbook online at https://www.madronaschool.org/for-parents
